life has a way to repeat itself. the problems that i have been facing for so long now still exist. now when the visa processing is in its final stages he is starting to have another panic attack. he is again verbalising how he would cope with everything how he doesn’t want to talk to me and doesn’t even care if the situation is so.

yesterday he called me and just blasted off saying that it is so difficult for him and that he doesn’t feel like talking to me and that he feels bad that he feels this way but all in all he doesn’t care if he feels so

then when i verbalize my concerns that i wont have any emotional support system and how i would cope with all of this. with him freaking out and asking me to adjust yet again and then dumping all his concerns on me and without my family or anywhere i could go to vent out and relax. he just says no i wont leave u high and dry i would give a ticket to go back home when it gets really bad. but what would happen before that who would i turn to talk and get comfort from .

certainly not him coz he wont be there for me . coz even my voice irks him.

what would i do

just feel like ending everything……………..